The Quest of Bulk and Skull
by Protector of Canon2
Summary: Bulk and Skull are determined to discover the secret identities of the Power Rangers. this could get interesting.


Another parody, yet another totally different style. With this one, I actually wasn't sure whether to call it a parody or not since, until the very end, there isn't anything I can't see happening on the show itself. I've exaggerated things, but very little.

Either way, I still think it's funny, and I hope you will as well.

* * *

The Quest of Bulk and Skull

Bulk and Shull were enormous fans of the Power Rangers.

Some people found this odd, as the pair tended to look down on the goody-two-shoes type, but they failed to recognize the enormous difference between sanctimonious do-gooder high school students who thought they were better than everyone else and _Superheroes_!

So Bulk and Skull were huge fans of the Power Rangers, and their greatest dream was to someday repay the Rangers for everything they had done. Unfortunately, it was rather difficult to repay someone, or even to thank them, when you had no idea who that someone _was_.

So Bulk and Skull made the only rational decision: they set out to discover the Ranger's true identities.

* * *

"Alright," Bulk began, "what do we know about the Power Rangers?"

"They're awesome," Skull said, ticking the facts off on his fingers. "They're the greatest martial artists ever. They have those cool giant robots. They save the world from evil monsters. They look great in spandex."

Bulk stared at him.

"The girls do," he amended.

Bulk nodded.

"All very true," he said. "So, who in Angel Grove fulfills all those requirements?"

Skull considered this. "No one," he finally concluded.

Bulk considered it as well and was forced to agree.

"This is going to be more difficult than we thought," he muttered.

"Maybe they don't live in Angel Grove," Skull suggested.

"The monsters only ever attack Angel Grove," Bulk pointed out. "Clearly, the villain who's sending the monsters knows where the Rangers live, and he or she is trying to take them out of the picture so that the Earth will be vulnerable."

"Makes sense," Skull agreed, "but we don't know everybody who lives in Angel Grove."

"So we'll have to attack it scientifically!" Bulk announced. "Now, I've been reading old detective novels—Sherlock Holmes is an absolute genius, but that Nancy Drew girl is just _annoying_. Worst kind of do-gooder.

"Anyway, I've developed a plan of attack.

"First, we must narrow our suspect pool. Then, we collect clues. After examining them and reviewing the facts, we regroup.

"Agreed?"

"Yes, sir!" Skull declared, saluting.

Bulk grabbed an easel and a large pad of paper.

"Right," he announced, "we're looking for two girls and four boys." He jotted this down. "What else?"

"No younger than 15," Skull suggested, "and no older than 30."

"Let's say 35," Bulk amended. "Er on the side of caution."

Skull nodded. "It can't be anyone who's around during monster attacks," he added. A though struck him. "We'll need to keep track of who we see every day. We'll need to start carrying around detective pads."

"And magnifying glasses," Bulk added. "Probably hats, too."

"Right," Skull decided. "Well go home, collect some gear, and meet back in the park in 20 minutes."

* * *

By the time they met up in the park, both boys truly looked like detectives, complete with their hats, coats, magnifying glasses, pens, and pads of paper.

"Well, Detective Bulk," Skull said, "are you ready?"

"More than ready, Detective Skull," Bulk replied. "Now, where should we begin?"

The two looked around.

A few families were having picnics. A few couples were out on dates, other people were lying on their backs and watching the sky. One girl was sitting against a tree and reading a book.

In a large clearing, two typical do-gooders—Jason and Tommy—were teaching yet another karate class while all their little friends—Kimberly, Zach, Billy, and Trini—sat and watched.

And on the other side of the park—

"Aha!" Skull said.

"What? Where?"

"There!" Skull pointed at a pair of 20-year-old boys who were sparring ferociously with one another.

"There's only two of them," Bulk pointed out.

"Come on," Skull protested, "do you really think they do everything together?"

Bulk thought for a moment.

"Good point," he said. "Do you have the camera?"

"Check," Skull said, pulling out a Polaroid camera and handing it to Bulk.

Bulk snapped a quick picture of the two. As soon as it printed out, he wrote "_subjects 1 and 2_" on the white tab at the bottom.

"Right," he said, scribbling on his pad. "The next step is to collect information on the two and compare it to what we know about the Rangers."

"We should find out where they go to school and who they're friends with," Skull suggested, turning to Bulk and speaking quietly so as not to be overheard. "And then we should see if they look like the Rangers. You, know, if they're tall enough and such."

"We'll have to find a way to watch one of their battles," Bulk pointed out. "We need to get close to them."

"Maybe we should examine their fighting styles," Skull suggested. "Then we can compare them to our suspects."

"Good idea, Skull," Bulk complimented.

Suddenly, someone screamed.

"The Power Rangers!" the person cried. "The Power Rangers are fighting on the beach!"

Bulk and Skull looked around again.

The families were heading home. The couples were standing up. The girl had closed her book. The karate class was milling about, teacher-less and unsure of what they should do now. And the two martial artists…

Well, they had stopped sparring, but they were still in the park.

"Guess it's not them," Skull sighed.

"Back to square one," Bulk muttered, crumpling up the picture.

* * *

"Wow," Kimberly said in a voice that was clearly audible to anyone in the Juice bar who cared to listen, "that was probably the ugliest monster we've ever faced."

"Not much of a threat, though," Tommy replied, somewhat disappointed, but no quieter.

"The battle was pretty boring," Jason agreed.

"I'd rather have a boring battle than an enemy we can't beat," Trini countered.

"Granted," Tommy agreed, "but couldn't Rita and Zedd at least give us a challenge?"

Zach laughed. "They can't come up with challenges for us anymore," he scoffed. "We're too good."

"Perhaps," Billy agreed, "but I would venture that it would not be ideal for us to grow overconfident. It would be rather unfortunate if our enemies were to become victorious due to our hubris."

"He doesn't think we should get cocky," Trini translated. She, like the other Rangers, was talking in normal tones which would be very easy to eavesdrop on if anyone wanted to.

"Just because we're confident, that doesn't mean we're overconfident," Tommy countered. "Remember the martial arts tournament when I first came to town?

"Jason was the best martial artist in Angel Grove, and he knew it. He didn't expect anyone to be able to if I hadn't come. But once he was facing me, he fought as though I was his equal, even though he thought I wasn't.

"As long as we concentrate on every fight, we can be as sure of ourselves as we want."

"Perhaps," Billy conceded, "but I still feel that we should be careful."

"Oh my god," Kimberly gasped, "what are they _wearing_?"

The others turned to the doorway where Bulk and Skull were just entering the Juice Bar.

"They look like they're going to a costume party," Jason laughed.

Bulk obviously overheard him, because he looked up.

"Like you could even understand what we're doing," he scoffed.

"Okay," Trini replied diplomatically, "what are you doing?"

Bulk and Skull puffed up with pride.

"_We _are going to discover the identities of the Power Rangers," Bulk proclaimed.

"Yeah," Skull agreed. "We're going to scientifically deduce their identities!"

Zach glanced at the others. None of them seemed nervous, and he wasn't either. But he was curious.

"Why do you care?" he asked.

Bulk and Skull looked as each other and shook their heads.

"Dweebs," they said in unison.

"They're the _Power Rangers_," Bulk explained patronizingly. "Can people like you even _begin_ to understand what that means?"

"We're going to find out who they are," Skull said, "and we're going to thank them properly. Then we'll learn from them. We're going to be like the Power Rangers. Can you even _imagine_ that?"

Jason looked at the two. "Not really," he said honestly.

Bulk nodded proudly. "Come, Skull," he said, "there are bound to be clues at the beach."

And the two swept out of the room.

* * *

"Anything?" Bulk asked his friend.

"There's a lot of footprints her," Skull replied doubtfully. "But, how do we know which ones are the Rangers'?"

"Let's start by finding the monster's footprints," Bulk decided. "That should be pretty easy."

They searched for several minutes, and then Skull gasped.

"Bulky," he said, "Bulky, look!"

In the harder sand by the edge of the water were six sets of footprints side by side by side, identical except for the size.

"They must have been standing next to one another before the fight started," Bulk realized. "Skull, this is it! This is the clue we need!"

The two got to work within minutes; snapping pictures, measuring the footprints, taking notes.

"So now we just need the shoe sizes of all our suspects, and we'll be able to rule out most of them!"

"I think my father has a book about figuring out how tall people are based on their shoe size. We could use that to match the footprints to the Rangers/"

"We're really going to do this, Bulky! We really are!"

"Okay," Bulk said, straightening up, "let's not get carried away. Are there any other clues on this beach ?"

Skull looked around.

"There's something," he pointed out.

Indeed, something _was _shining in the sunlight. Bulk rushed over and picked it up.

"It's just that stupid bracelet Tommy's always wearing," he dismissed after a moment.

"Oh," Skull replied, disappointed. "Should we give it back?"

"I guess so," Bulk said.

"Hey," Skull reassured him, "we still have the footprints!"

Bulk brightened. "That we do," he agreed. "Come, let us return home and review the information we've gathered."

* * *

The six Power Rangers were handing out in the park, unmorphed.

"So what do you think?" Tommy asked. He was sitting on the ground and leaning against a tree with Kim's head on his lap. "How long will it take those two to give up?"

The others laughed.

"A week?" Zack guessed, from the bench he was sitting on. "Probably less."

"I wonder what would happen if someone _did_ find out?" Kimberly mused.

Jason, who was lying on the grass and tossing a ball to himself, shrugged. "We'd probably just swear them to silence," he said.

Billy looked up from his book and frowned. "I find that unlikely," he said. "Given that we only received three instructions along with our powers, one would assume that the consequences would be more drastic."

"He thinks it would be worse than that, since keeping the secret is one of the only three rules we have," Trini translated.

"Whatever," Zack dismissed. "It's not like we actually have anything to worry about. It's not going to happen."

Almost as though their foes had been watching from the room and had thought, _They look too relaxed. Let's cause them some trouble, _(And, knowing Rita, that wasn't an outrageous assumption) several putties appeared at that moment.

"Great," Kimberly said as the teenagers all leapt to their feet. "Just what we need."

"Come on," Zach complained, "we just finished beating up a monster. Can't we catch a break?"

"Guess not," Jason said grimly. "Let's take care of these guys. It's Morphin' Time!"

The battle was neither particularly long nor particularly difficult and, when it was over, the Rangers glanced at one another uncertainly.

"…Was that it?" Kimberly asked.

"No monster?" Trini added. "Nothing?"

"I… guess not…" Jason said. "That was pretty weird."

He powered down, and the others followed suit.

"Oh. My. God."

The Rangers spun around, and…

"Oops," muttered Zack.

Bulk and Skull were staring at them and, from the expressions on their faces, it was pretty clear that they had seen the Rangers demorph.

"_You're _the_ Power Rangers_?" Bulk asked incredulously. "_**You're **_the_** Power Rangers?"**_

"_You're _the_ Power Rangers_?" Skull asked as well, but then, more thoughtfully, "You're the Power Rangers. The six of you hang out together—two girls and four boys—and you're all the right age. You're always trying to fix everything. You're all martial artists.

Wait, since when is _he_ a martial artist?" He indicated Billy.

"Since shortly after the Power Rangers first appeared," Bulk realized. "And they each wear their colors every day…

"Why do you do that, anyway?"

But before the Rangers were able to reply, Skull continued. "Tommy came to Angel Grove right before the Green Ranger first appeared. When the Green Ranger did appear, Tommy became downright scary. When the Green Ranger became a good guy, Tommy became much less scary and started hanging out with the others.

"It's so obvious," he concluded. "Why didn't we notice it before?"

"Because they're dweebs," Bulk realized. "We haven't gotten along since we were children; we'd never have thought that they could be superheroes."

"But most people like them," Skull pointed out. "How come nobody else has ever noticed?"

Bulk considered this for a long moment.

"Clearly, my dear Skull," he said sagely, "you and I are the only intelligent people in this city."

Then he and Skull turned their backs on the speechless Rangers and walked away.

* * *

So, I recognize that this isn't really over, as there would definitely be repercussions to Bulk and Skull discovering the Rangers' identities.

But I think that following that plotline would quickly become more of a serious story, which I'm not really interested in writing in the Power Rangers fandom at this time.

However, if anyone else wants to continue this in their own fic, you're welcome to. Just let me know first, as I'd like to read that story.

P.S. Does anyone have any parodies (MMPR, Zeo, or Dino Thunder related only, please) that they would like me to write? I won't promise to write it and, even if I do, it may not be anything like what you would imagine, but I would appreciate the prompts.


End file.
